you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize