His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
You're earring is so big in my mouth
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
