i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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