I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
