your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize