so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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