My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize