craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
