this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
