very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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