big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
