Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
