She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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