you win again, gameday.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
