The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
