Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
