I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
