I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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