I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Randomize
