I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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