i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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