I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
