i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
You pole danced in your parka.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
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