ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
sex in a hospital.. check
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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