Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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