You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
