I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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