i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
