We won't sleep together?
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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