sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
