Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
