On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
