We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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