How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
