thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
