On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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