He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
No subtext here. People are naked.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
