he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
