Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
