I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
