I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
