My friends, they love my intelligence
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
