Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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