I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize