At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
