Capitaan dildo arrescate!
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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