Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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