YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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