so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
