he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
