go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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